Sexolve 240: ‘My Boyfriend Loses His Erection When I’m On Top’

Sexolve 240: ‘My Boyfriend Loses His Erection When I’m On Top’

“It is great you recognise your importance of pleasure. If you value, you can expect to discuss.” writes Harish Iyer.

(Trigger Warning: Some concerns might make you’re feeling agitated. Reader discernment is recommended.)

Sexolve is equal legal rights activist Harish Iyer’s Q&A area on FIT.

For you if you have any queries regarding sex, sexuality, or your relationship, and need some advice, answers, or just someone to hear you out – write to Harish Iyer, and he’ll try and ‘sexolve’ it. Drop-in a mail to

This week’s Q&As are below:

My Boyfriend Loses His Erection When I Will Be At The Top

Dear RainbowMan,

I will be a 27 yr old girl in deep love with a 28 12 months man that is old. We now have had a tremendously delighted and relationship that is happening it comes down to intercourse. We’ve been actually good and experimented inside our intercourse. But, i’ve a strange issue with my boyfriend. He likes it once we have sexual intercourse and then he is acceptably rough, he attempts to compensate to their otherwise peaceful character. Nonetheless, there was a true point as he loses their erection, more often than not. That’s whenever I continue top of him as he is sleeping. Their penis begins resting too. He very quickly loses their erection. I decide to try various roles him, but he loses it all the time or sometimes his penis even misses my vagina while I am on top of. We don’t understand how to keep their penis on once I access it top of him. I favor the impression when I have always been together with a person along with his completely penis that is erect inside my vagina. We additionally become feeling like, its my mistake which he is not around in this position. Nevertheless, I think we shall not be in a position to experience by using this boyfriend. Please assist in maintaining their banner hoisted. Else we may want to satisfy other guys who is able to give me that feeling. Guess what happens i am talking about? Maybe Not being rude, judge me personally I need to experience what I want to experience if you want to – but. Just one single life, We have, we don’t like to Hinge vs Bumble comparison spend with only the pleasure of just one.

Skip Interrupted

Dear Skip Interrupted,

Thank you plenty for your heartfelt mail. I’m happy that your particular partner along with a satisfying sex-life otherwise. Understand this as a tiny hiccup.

There might be several reasons because he may not be aroused in this particular position for him losing his erection only in this position and this might be.

Often focusing a lot of in the technique and process may move from the essence of love. Have actually you attempted focussing on love, conversations, cuddles, dental stimulation? Possibly, then it will just slip in and stay “hoisted”?

It’s good which you recognise your requirement for pleasures.

There’s nothing incorrect about wanting love or wanting intercourse, or wanting a form of intercourse or wanting more intercourse with another partner. We’re able to have these deep conversations with our main lovers without making our partners feel ashamed about on their own or their health.

It really is for the few to determine just exactly what form they would like to give their relationship – monogamous or polyamourous. It really is two different people in this relationship and both should consent into the form the connection is using. Make certain that it really is a conversation rather than a choice that is thrust on him.

If you value, you are going to talk about. If you value, you may comprehend the guidelines. You would not hurt other partners by making them feel like temporary props in the bargain of keeping your flame alive with your primary partner if you love.

I’m not a person who would shame you for having desires or even for performing on them. I might simply let you know that perhaps the most complex of things could be resolved with empathy and kindness.